Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
