WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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