if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
