Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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