I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
