Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
