Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
