my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
