Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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