He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize