you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
