Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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