in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Found your dick twin last night
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
