i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
