You're a womanizer and a bitch.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
