She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
