she looked like the before picture.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
