guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
