I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
