you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
