I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Your cock deserves a montage
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
