so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
