the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
