I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
