So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The best revenge is premature balding
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
