wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
