We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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