I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
it's like heaven, but drunker
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
