you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
