So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
