So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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