so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
