Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
