yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
