My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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