She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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