Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
