i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He better not be in your backpack
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
