Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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