found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
