There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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