u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
As shirtless as possible
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
