yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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