Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm drive I can fine osifer
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hippo gnu deer
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
