so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
last night I used snow as a chaser
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
