I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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