Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize