My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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