either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Mom said you looked used
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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