My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
did i just pee glitter
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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