he shaved USA in his pubs
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
