Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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