3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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