honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
