In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
