I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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