I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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