Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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