i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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