Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
