i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
